I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
