I think I just saw someone hide a body.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
