I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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