Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize