Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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