I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
