I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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