So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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