that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
