Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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