even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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