i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
