I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
