I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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