I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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