When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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