You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.