wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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