Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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