She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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