We won't sleep together?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
