her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
