I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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