ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
high people should be assigned attendants
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Randomize
