I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
