week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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