Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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