it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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