I never want to see another naked old woman again.
barbara walters just said penis...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
