I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
