I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
