you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
