erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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