If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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