was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
