when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
