butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
