I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
