I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
