I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
