we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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