i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
