i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
