is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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