I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
