is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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