My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it penis luge time yet?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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