you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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