i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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