So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
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HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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