I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
