i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
