OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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