I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
