I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
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Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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